Celeb Obsessed

OK. I think I really am obsessed with celebrity gossip. Those of you that know me know I love celeb dirt, but I think it could be becoming a problem.

When I think of this past week, immediately the following thoughts come to mind:

• Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney married Monday
• Seal and Heidi Klum wed Tuesday
• Allegations continue to be raised by Corey Clark against Paula Abdul

These are my milestones of this week, not what happened in my personal life or at work. I am more concerned about these surprise weddings and who could be the next celeb couple to tie the knot.

Last week, I was concerned with Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. "Do you think they'll make it?" I asked my husband. He is such a good sport, pretending to care. But by the look in his eyes, he couldn't believe I had asked this question with such seriousness. I like to pick fights about Brad and Angelina. Why do I care?? I hate Angelina...shouldn't I reserve this level of disgust for someone that has wronged me personally? I also wonder why Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are not friends anymore...did Nicole really show Paris' sex tape at a party she threw that was supposed to be a party for Paris' Saturday Night Live debut? Or are they jealous of each other? Why can't they just tell me??? I NEED to know!

They are influencing my wardrobe too. Is it wrong that I have on a green tunic today with my beaded gold hoops? Maybe not, but I wonder if I would even have this Bohemian-inspired outfit on if I hadn't read about it or seen it on a celeb. Am I losing my sense of self?

I guess this obsession is really pretty harmless. On the other hand, maybe not. When I read that Britney and K-Fed (as US Weekly likes to call him) barely came out of their room on their honeymoon, I wanted to know WHY did I leave my room? Why did I go out to eat? Why did I walk the streets of New Orleans looking for antiques? Should I have stayed in my room, too? Then this makes me paranoid. Bert had to remind me that if these people want any privacy, they can't leave. Furthermore, they vacation in villas on tropical islands; we are in hotels in the city. And did I really want to sit in the room with out clothes strewn everywhere and a soaking wet bathroom floor where I poured too much bubble bath in the jacuzzi and flooded the bathroom? I guess not.

When I found out Will Smith surprises Jada with "Valentine's Days" throughout the year, I promptly informed Bert. Bless his heart, two weeks later in the middle of March, I had another V-Day.

I guess I have to remember that my real life, although not as glamorous, is a life they could only hope for. I didn't have to have a "secret" wedding...I was able to shout it from the rooftops. My husband didn't cheat on me with terrible Angelina Jolie. I am not at odds with my best friend. My personal joys and pain are able to remain just that...personal.

And I even get extra Valentine's Days.