Anarchy In Middle America

Last night, Bert and I went to see Shawn Mullins live at an outdoor concert. I absolutely love, love to see live music. There’s just something about seeing someone there on stage, really feeling the music. They’re off the radio and standing in front of you in an old t-shirt with their eyes closed and you feel more connected to music than ever before.

Bert and I had a wonderful seat in the second row. There were probably about a thousand people there, but most of the others were more interested in the Budweiser tent several feet from the stage. That left us with two seats to the left of a sycamore tree, very close to the stage. I laid my head on Bert’s shoulder, and as I looked up at him, it looked almost like a picture with the tree and the blue sky in the background.

And then I saw it.

You know what I’m talking about. It's our fellow human beings...the people of middle America. Concerts are the perfect place for people-watching. We noticed many people…the groupies, the homeless people…before the show really got started. As we took our seats, we almost immediately began to notice many others. One of the most memorable was Art Garfunkel, from Simon & Garfunkel, and Sweatband Girl, who were completely oblivious to the other people at the concert. When people have seats, what makes other people think they can just go and stand right in front of them? It makes no sense to me. However, what made less sense than that was the fact that the girl had a giant light blue sweatband pushed up around her left bicep and a small white one around her right wrist. After jamming with Art and discussing the benefits of organic lemonade, she switched the sweatbands around. They continued to smoke cigarettes like they were their life source and downed the organic drinks. Then they left. Then they came back. Art looked mad.

Of course there was a group of giddy high school girls. It made me shudder to think I used to bear any resemblance to these girls who practically attacked their friends with shrieks and hugs. You know what I’m talking about. It’s the group of girls who are desperately trying to pass for college freshman, and they’re present in any College Town USA. They have assembled their cutest outfits and thrown a fake Chanel purse over their shoulders. They walk around, their leader stopping to say many hellos along the way. They scream and hug a lot. Everyone around them is thoroughly annoyed at them, but all they can think about is how cool they are to be at a concert. Even if they choose to wear a normal bra with a spaghetti strap shirt, they think they look fabulous. They are having the time of their lives.

The girls stood close to the stage, only feet from their complete opposite, Anarchy Boy. This guy with his mom was in junior high and dressed in all black. He had on baggy cargo pants and a shirt with the name of a band that spelled their name using the Anarchy "A." When they played CDs before Shawn Mullins came out, Anarchy Boy knew every word to all the “angry” songs. However, after Shawn came out, he was dreadfully bored, happy only for the 5 minutes he had a fresh order of large cheese fries.

Then, of course, there was the family that the mom was trying to be cool and sing along to every Shawn Mullins song. She was wearing a low-cut pink top and her daughter looked mortified most of the time. Dad eventually came to join them, and he looked perfectly normal and like a banker except for his large Sponge Bob Square Pants tie. Dad and Daughter took a seat, while Mom stayed true to her groupie roots, dancing and singing while standing. She would make her mouth vibrate like Whitney Houston does during “I Will Always Love You.” Daughter looked at Mom. Mom gave daughter the peace sign. Daughter looked like she wanted to crawl under the stage and hide.

I will say, though, that the person I think took the cake was Sugar Daddy. Nope, I’m not talking about an old man with a young little trophy blonde by his side. I’m talking about a guy in blue and white striped overalls with a short-sleeved button up shirt that bore the Sugar Daddies logo. He sure must love that candy. As I opened my mouth to point out Sugar Daddy, Bert said, "I know, and no, I don't have an explanation." We sure got a kick out of that one.

I leaned back in my chair, my head on Bert’s shoulder. I looked around at all the people we had noticed, and how most of them looked like they were having a wonderful time, lost in their own worlds. I had a big smile on my face, and thought about how Shawn Mullins summed it all up in his first song: “It’s just life…it’s just life.” And I am so glad to be out there living it.