Crazy Jealous Wife No More

Before you judge me, please allow me to plead sympathy on my behalf. I acted like a crazed jealous wife Saturday morning, and I have decided to share this with all of you. Perhaps reading about my mistake can spare you future humiliation!

Okay, first of all, since January 1, my husband has lost 50 pounds. Bert looks really great. So, of course, I have noticed more glances his way and I just want to slap every woman that dare looks at my husband. I had a nightmare late last week that we were dating other people. We ended up together at the end, but of course that dream stuck in my head. Then he comes home from the gym Thursday or Friday and tells me some woman was trying to strike up a conversation with him on the treadmill. This all happened because he was worried my iPod batteries would die if he used it any longer, so he wasn't listening to music. Therefore, Random Woman felt he was approachable.

I was not too happy about this woman who decided Bert needed to know everything there was to know about her stupid dogs.

Saturday morning we to to the gym. I was sleepy, but determined to work on getting off these last 12 pounds. I went straight to the elliptical machine and Bert went to the treadmill. This blonde headed chick kept looking at Bert over and over. She looked like she was speaking to him, and I could feel my blood boiling. As soon as the treadmill on the other side of him opened up, I got on it immediately. I looked over at Bert and said, "I don't know who that b**** thinks she is, but here I am." I blasted the music on my iPod and walked my little heart out. After a little while, I decided I had enough of the treadmill and wanted to go get on the bike. I took off my headphones and told Bert that I was going to get on the bike and that I'd be ready to leave the gym in 30 minutes.

He looked at me and said, "Anisa, I don't know that that girl was looking at me. She didn't even speak to me. The man who was on the treadmill before you was talking really loudly, trying to psyche himself up. He kept saying, 'You can do it. Push it.' We were all laughing. She was probably looking at him."

Oops.

I just shook my head and said OK. I believed him. We just laughed it off and I hopped off the treadmill. This old lady who had been working out behind us said, "He was telling the truth." She spoke so quietly that I didn't realize she was talking to me. "He was telling the truth," she repeated. "Huh?" I replied. She said, "That man on the treadmill was acting crazy. I couldn't hear him, but it was funny." We chatted for a minute about Crazy Man and then I headed to the bike, wondering why Old Lady got in my business.

I just wanted to pull my hair out.

So, there you have it. I looked like an idiot at the gym. Luckily, I didn't say very much. There were hardly any people there. I didn't say anything to Blonde Girl's face and I didn't tell Old Lady to mind her own business.

We went home and I came to a startling realization. I decided that the most unattractive thing I can do is turn into Crazy Jealous Wife. I told Bert I was sorry and I wouldn't jump to conclusions anymore. He told me he thought it was cute that I did. I decided I needed to reign in my insecurities. I thought I acted like a fool.

And while it might have been cute this time, on any larger scale, I'm sure it wouldn't have been. I trust him completely, and he feels the same way about me. I decided in the future if I am getting angry, I'll just go over and say something - anything - to Bert to let Random Next Girl know that he's with someone. No need to make myself look stupid in the process. I knew it was irrational of me to get upset, but the dream and the lady hitting on him a few days earlier...and my PMS...got the best of me. I didn't like how it made me feel, though. Crazy Jealous Wife will not be me. Nope, never again.

I must say, though, I was very happy as Bert opened his very own iPod mini for Father's Day. He was shocked and so excited, as he's been hinting about one since the day I got mine. I'd be lying if I didn't say that an added perk is that randoms won't try to strike up a conversation with my husband at the gym while he has headphones stuck in his ears.