Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

So, I have a good friend who was telling me the other night at dinner about her need to be overly honest. She just sold her condo and the building inspector came over to check out the place. Before he could get to work, she decided to go ahead and tell him all that was wrong with her home. Her husband was mortified, but kept his mouth closed, hoping and praying she would stop. It all worked out just fine, but her stories got me thinking...how honest do we have to be?

One of the classic questions is to think about at what point you would tell a cashier they had given you back excess change. Would you tell them if it was any amount? $5? $10? $20? Never? People have different schools of thought about this. Some people think you should always tell the cashier since it's not really your money. Others think, well, they messed up. I paid and they gave me too much back. It's not my fault they can't count change. After thinking about this, I came to the conclusion that I would probably say something after $10. How did I come up with this? I guess it's because I do think it's their mistake and $10 isn't going to hurt a business. However, more than that, I would begin to worry that the cashier would lose their job, etc. And I don't want that on my conscience. And honestly, I don't really count change when they give it back to me. I would most likely notice their mistake long after I had left the store.

I have always had a huge conscience. I can't stand to tell a blatant lie, but rationalize...that's a different story. Haven't we all been a bit misleading to our parents in our high school days? Have you ever found yourself wording something in such a way that you haven't exactly told a lie? I have friends who partied a bit too hard the night before to go to work and called in with a "bug" or "food poisoning." The rationale? If they ingested anything (be it food or drinks) that made them sick, they were able to call it food poisioning. We all make mistakes, but chronic falsehoods become our truths and that's not good. Cut yourself slack for a one-time offense, but after that...you may want to rethink this strategy. If you're a female with terrible cramps, can you call in with an upset stomach? I think, yes, as long as it's a rarity. What good are you at work if you're doubled over in pain? What about "my (insert elderly relative) died?" I think no. Why? Unless it's true, you'll always wonder if you killed grandma if she keels over a week later. Karma, baby.

What about little white lies? I think no harm is done if you tell a friend you love their new mohawk. What can they do? They just had their hair done and they probably know it looks horrible, but unlike clothes, you can't just change hair. About clothing, I think hurting someone's feelings is worse than telling them they have gained 5 pounds too many to wear a certain pair of pants. They know they have without you telling them.

I have some friends who also feel the need to tell their husbands everything that their girlfriends tell them. They think it's wrong to withhold any information from their husbands. Now, I'm all for being open and honest with your spouse, but do they really need to know your friend's embarassing stories that you were made to swear you'd never tell a soul? No way! I don't want my friend's husbands knowing all my personal business; they're not my close friends. I think this is definitely crossing the line.

So, what's the bottom line? There's no magical formula here. Use your best judgement! Don't lie about important things, but don't reveal too much information. It's always best to err on the side of truth. Keep your promises, be an honest employee and don't always feel the need to tell the entire story. Some things are better left unsaid.