Good Luck, Paris!

So, Paris and Paris are engaged. While this pairing will most likely fall apart, it made me think about marriage in general. As I near my 10-month anniversary, I thought I'd pass along a few things I've learned already. If you're married, you may get a kick out of some of these and nod your head in agreement. For those of you headed to the altar, I hope you can take a little something from my advice.

• Marry someone that you love to talk to.

Mama always said this to me. She was right! You will spend more of your time talking to your partner than anything else. Marry someone you truly see as your best friend and want to hang out with. Think about it...you will be hanging out with this person every single day for the rest of your life. Make it someone you don't want to be without.

• "A lady in the street, but a freak in the bed!"

Yes, I know I took this phrase from "Yeah!" by Usher feat. Ludacris and Lil' Jon. Basically what I take this to mean is that keep the fire burning! Make your sex life a priority. Spice it up sometimes. Don't forget that stage when you were dating and couldn't keep your hands off each other. I guarantee if you make this a priority, those "butterflies" you felt when you started dating won't go away. And that is a wonderful feeling. However, people also have to remember (as Oprah said) that foreplay doesn't start 5 minutes before "the deed"...it starts when you wake up. Treat your spouse with kindness and show them that you love them. Make the other person feel wanted and desired all the time.

• Don't expect a lot of changes!

Marry someone you like just the way they are. People do change somewhat, but you have to pick and choose what you want them to change. I, personally, hated Bert's eyebrow ring when we started dating. That's OK...an easy cosmetic change is not difficult to make. You can spruce up their wardrobe or get them to take off that dreaded male jewelery. Sometimes we have to teach them that a watch and ring is all that's acceptable. However, if they do something that really gets on your nerves or is a personality trait, don't expect it to change. I'm hypersensitive...that's just part of my personality. Bert is argumentative. That's just us, and you must learn to embrace the quirks of the other person.

• Go on dates.

They don't have to be planned for such-and-such date of the month, but do go on dates regularly. It's important to nurture your relationship by taking time for yourselves to just be together and talk. Don't forget the joy of holding hands...don't get caught in the day-to-day rut of work, dinner, TV. Don't forget to talk to each other!!

• Pick your battles.

Not everything is worth fighting over. So what if they never replace the toilet paper? And, ladies, learn that men have an aversion to putting things in the dishwasher. They absolutely will put them in the sink all the time. Don't yell about something like that or when you really are mad about something, they won't listen. Many things are worth letting go. And besides, who wants to fight all the time?

• Find the simple pleasures.

Marriage changes a relationship because it just become regular, everyday life. Relish the fact that you wake up beside the person that you love. Enjoy having someone to discuss your day with. You have to look at the daily grind and find things to be thankful for. I am so thankful for simply having someone to share my life with. If you do this, you will fall in love over again every day.

• Don't compare your relationship to your friends' relationships!

This is a big no-no and an easy way to become paranoid. So what if so and so just bought a $200,000 house or has sex 5 times a day? It doesn't matter. You are you and they are them. You never know the whole story or how much people exaggerate. Love your spouse for who they are. And don't discuss every detail of your marriage with others. Keep things special and private.

Well, although Paris and Paris have little chance of making it, I hope all of you do. Marriage is hard work, with lots of compromise. But I can truly say that if you marry the right person, that is almost a guarantee to a wonderful life. After all, what good are our sorrows and joys if we have no one to share them with?