Scared Senseless

I.am.scared.

OK, so I've started to recover now, but I really think I should put myself on permanent scary movie probation. I say that now, but eventually I'll forget and put myself through 2 hours of torture, which has on occassion led to entire weeks of being petrified of being by myself, completely scared senseless. I'm really not exaggerating...I think I inherited this from my dad. He is probably the bravest person I know, but he can't stand to see a scary movie.

Last night, Bert & I watched "White Noise" with Michael Keaton. The premise of the movie is that those who have "passed over" can communicate through technology such as static in the radio or white noise through a "snowy" TV. Maybe I should back up...I didn't really watch the movie so much as I had my face buried in the couch and I said every 15 seconds, "What's happening?" This one didn't traumatize me as much as most, but when I got to work and turned on my radio, it cut out for probably 2 seconds. Two seconds of sheer torture...I knew dead people were trying to communicate with me. Thankfully, Rob Thomas' new song came on and I was able to end my completely ridiculous train of thought.

I guess scary movies do their job...they scare the crap out of me. So, as an ode to these movies I have a love-hate relationship with, I have the a list of the trauma caused to me by some scary movies I have seen. These movies did their job!!!

• "The Exorcist" - I prayed to God every night for at least 2-3 nights I would never become possessed. This caused paranoia in me, which finally went away in time. You would think I would know that was stupid from...
• "The Amityville Horror" - I saw the old one and woke for 3 nights in a row at 3:30am, just like the man who was possessed in the movie. He would wake up at the same time every night. Again, this movie resulted in nightly praying that I would never become possessed. I was completely terrified. I began to feel I was developing OCD. I then realized I was acting completely insane.
• "The Sixth Sense" - Holy lordy. I about peed my pants at the end of this one. For about a week, I was scared to close my eyes in the shower because I thought dead people were everywhere. My mother finally broke me of this by saying, "Anisa, so what if there are dead people everywhere? Have they bothered you yet?" Good point.
• "The Ring" - This one was horrible for me, and I never saw "The Ring 2" because of it. I lived by myself at the time, and on the tenth night, I kept staring at the TV. I couldn't get the image of that scary girl out of my head. I went out with friends a lot during that time because I didn't want to be home alone. It was so scary!!
• "Copy Cat" - For at least I week, I would continuously check to make sure Harry Connick, Jr. wasn't hiding at the foot of my bed to kill me.
• "Candyman" - I was just plain scared. You'll never hear the title of this movie come out my mouth more than one time in a row. Just thinking about it gives me chills.
• "The Grudge" - This movie near about gave me a heart attack. I, again, was scared to close my eyes in the shower and even in the bed! I kept thinking the scary Japanese woman would appear above me and kill me. I gained solace knowing it had scared many others senseless. Luckily, I had rented this and watched the "extras" at the end, so I got to see the scary people acting regularly. I hightly recommend this technique for helping to keep the trauma to a minimum.
• "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - If I could turn back time, I wish I had never seen this movie. It scared the s*** out of me. I am not kidding. I really didn't even watch this movie. I think I can recall about 6 scenes. Those scenes were watched through a slit in my hand while I was covering my eyes. I was completely petrified and could hardly sleep.

There have been more, but I can quickly recall these because they scared me so much. Why I put myself through this torture, I have not a clue. But you know what? I'm sure I'll do it again and get soap in my eyes from a shower I can't stand to close my eyes in. Will it be worth the agony? You betcha.