Two Worlds

I had on black pants and a black shirt with a few sequins. They all wore sparkly Indian clothes. Nonetheless, we all broke our fast together. Most of my extended family was born overseas, so they have closets full of Indian clothes, while I have a limited supply. I wear American clothes every day, and have my entire life. But I couldn't help but think about my place as my husband and I drove home from breaking the fast with some of my family.

I came to the realization that I'm really not completely like either side.

My dad's family is all white. Many of my cousins have blonde hair. They work many blue-collar positions and they are from Mississippi. Most of the women work. They are my family and I love them dearly, but I know I am different in many ways from them.

On the other side of the family is my mom's family, which is Indian. Most of them were born in India and many had arranged marriages or met through matchmakers. Many of them wear Indian clothes and speak proficient Urdu. Most (not all) of the women don't work and they stay at home with their children that they usually start having shortly after they get married.

Here I am, somewhere in the middle.

I am half white, half Indian. I am a college-educated working woman. I share the religion of my mother's family. I didn't have an arranged marriage. I wear Indian clothes only for special occasions.

And so while I am not completely like one side of my family, both sides have aspects that I have come to hold so dear. A great example of this is the day of my Nikah (Muslim wedding ceremony).

When my step-grandfather on my dad's side showed up at my Nikah and gave me my grandmother's beautiful diamond ring, I was deeply moved. Here was this man, not my blood relation, hugging me and telling me that he knew he wasn't my biological grandfather, but he loved me like a granddaughter. He has many, many biological grandchildren, but he picked me for one of Granny Margrett's most precious possessions. And he will never know how much that moment inspired me to be a better stepmother to Ariana.

And my grandfather on my mother's side has served as a leader for our family. He is truly a genius, and has written textbooks and all five of his children have at least a Master's Degree. He is a gentle man, a loving and non-judgmental person. He has always told me that his house is my house. His love for me has never wavered, and he is so generous. When he got up to speak at my Nikah, the words could barely come out. Abbu was crying. To look at someone and know the depth of their emotion for you and know that you have made them proud is a wonderful feeling.

These men came from different worlds. One is completely Southern, and the other is from India. But in their own ways, they love me. I can take examples from both.

I can put on a sari and wear it with the best of them. But I can wear jeans too. I have a job and know that I can have children when it's time for me. And I have eaten the most delicious Southern cooking and Indian cuisine that you can imagine.

And I can move seamlessly from one world to the next. It sure seems I got the best part of the entire deal.