I'm Not An Addict

So, I was trying to get ahead on my to-do list for the week, and I went ahead and prepared some chocolate chip pecan cookie dough Tuesday night. The cookies were due today for an event, so I figured I could get the dough ready and chill it Tuesday, and then I'd bake Wednesday.

Sounds smart, right?

Uh-uh. First of all, I needed 48 cookies to come out of this dough. The recipe said it would make 60 cookies, so I figured there was plenty for me to have some dough and cookies as well. I L-O-V-E cookies, so I was very excited about making this.

I baked a few cookies Tuesday night for me and Bert. They were divine. I had been eating some of the insanely good dough before I made the cookies, so the dough supply was getting questionable mighty fast. I put the dough away in the fridge and decided I would finish baking the cookies Wednesday as soon as I got home. I knew I had just enough dough where I could have indulge myself any more.

Now, normally I have decent self-control. But not with the cookie dough, I'm afraid. When it comes to chocolate and PMS, I truly seem to have not an ounce of self control. Wednesday, all I could do was think about that damn dough. Sure enough, as soon as I got home, I couldn't resist.

Uh oh. This is why I don't do much baking. I am good at it, but there never seems to be any left over.

I was like a dough-a-holic. I knew there was no way I could make the four dozen cookies needed out of the dough. And then, of all things, I saw a Reese's peanut butter cup. We never keep things like cookies and candy in the house, and I really felt like I was an drug addict and crack was everywhere. It was all happening too fast!

I knew I had to make a decision. I could just go crazy and drown myself in the most heavenly goodies known to man, or I could pull myself together. It was such an angel vs. devil moment!

I put the cookie dough down.

I tried to make them into cookie bars, but there was no way there was enough dough to make all I needed. I was going to have to start all over again.

So, I pulled myself together and made dinner. Then, I went to Food Lion and bought brownie mix that I made myself promise not to eat at all. I put on my workout clothes, and I headed to the gym. I knew I had done some severe damage. There was no telling how much dough I ate.

People, I don't think you can comprehend the internal struggle I was going through. Think of your favorite food, and then multiply that emotion ten times. That is how I feel about cookies and especially, cookie dough. And especialy, especially chocolate chip cookie dough with nuts.

I made the chocolate chip pecan cookie bar thing, and walked away from it last night. The cookies had won the battle, but they were not winning the war.

I finally let myself have one cookie bar today.

Okay, I lied. I had two.

But nobody's perfect, right?