A Little Bit Different

I keep having to stop myself from grabbing a cookie or going to get something to drink. Nope, I'm not dieting. I'm fasting.

Muslims all over the world join me today on fast #4. We are all abstaining from food and drink from sunrise to sunset. Where I live, that means nada from 6am-7:30pm. I gave a bridal shower Sunday, and have learned that life goes on. People can just deal that I'm Muslim.

I never thought I would get here.

I guess I think it's more important now than ever not to hide the fact that I'm Muslim. I used to be scared. And well, frankly, embarrassed. What people thought of me meant everything, and we all know the general American view on Muslims.

But now I have come to realize that I have the power to change that, even if it's just a little bit, in those I come in contact with. My friends and co-workers know. It has been met with smiles and questions. Certainly there is surprise because I am not what they were thinking a Muslim would be like. My hair is not covered, I am not oppressed, I am not a terrorist. I don't advertise it, but when people ask, I no longer dance around the question. I just say the words, "I'm Muslim," and it's not as scary as I used to think.

My co-workers asked if I attend a masjid. Now they understand where I was going most Fridays at 1:30pm. My friend at work used to date a Muslim man she remembers fondly. She remembers Ramadan and has lots of funny stories to tell. All of a sudden, I began to feel (gasp!) normal. Normal as in not an outcast. For dear friends, I shall never be - and would never want to be - "normal" or "average."

I have been tested so much in the last few days. There have been some people who have been downright rude to me. And I think I have passed the tests...maybe with a C+, but I'm still passing.

And at the end of the day, it's not about what other Muslims are doing. It's about being able to live with myself and feeling an inner peace within.

And I'm okay with the fact that I will never completely fit in. I'm different than the immigrants at the masjid, and I'm different than my friends. Not vastly different, but just enough. That little tad of difference helps me remember who I am and why I believe what I do.

And you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way.