Speak Up, Even If Your Voice Shakes

I was so ashamed of myself.

Last night in class, a group presented an ethical analysis of the Lt. Ehren Watada case. The quick summary of the case is that Lt. Watada signed up for the war in Iraq, and after further study, he came to believe it was wrong and illegal. He tried to resign from the Army twice, but was denied. The Army offered him the status of "Conscientuous Objector," but he did not believe that title was fitting, as he didn't object to fighting in general - just in Iraq. He even offered to fight in Afghanistan, but was denied. Watada will be up for trial in June.

Anyway, the group presenting the case all agreed that Watada was wrong, and they voted to put him in prison. The vote was 4-2, with the other 2 voting for dishonorable discharge.

I was in shock. I guess you think that if something is obvious to you that it will be obvious to everyone else. When I read the case before class, I thought Watada was a very brave individual. In my opinion, he was standing up for what is right. It has come out more and more that we have no business in Iraq. Our administration painted a picture that Saddam Hussein was somehow linked to 9/11, which is clearly not true.

Anyway, I kept thinking I would say something, but this is the class where I have been made fun of before. And then, someone in the group busted out the "military family" card, so I really didn't feel like saying anything. It was 9:00 p.m. and I was tired and didn't feel like being berated for my opinion.

But that is where I failed.

Yes, this post is about Lt. Watada, but for me this whole situation became more about my own personal ethics. When I left class, I was really down on myself. I went home and cried to Bert. Literally, cried. He told me that he knows I would always stand up for what I believed in "real life."

"But Lt. Watada stood up to the government; I couldn't even stand up to my class," I sobbed.

The case was prepared by a Ph.D. student in the class, so I decided to write her an email. I told her that I wasn't sure if this was part of her ongoing doctoral research, but that I wanted to share my opinion on the ethics of the case so she could have a more complete assessment of the class reaction.

I included this quote from Lt. Watada in my email:
"It is my duty as a commissioned officer in the United States Army to speak out against grave injustices. My moral and legal obligation is to the constitution. Not to those who issue unlawful orders. I stand before you today because it is my job to serve and protect American soldiers and innocent Iraqis who have no voice. It is my conclusion that the war in Iraq is not only morally wrong, but also a breach of American law."

And she said my email was lovely.

No matter what your opinions are on the war or anything else, I believe it's important to stand up for whatever it is you believe. Yes, I was being hard on myself. Yes, maybe it was "just a class," and yes, I had been ridiculed before. But how can one be brave if there is no fear? That's what bravery is...courage in the face of adversity.

I saw a quote yesterday that I will hold close to me always. Yesterday, I realized how important this is to me. This quote will forever be a part of who I am, and I will remind myself of it next time I am afraid.

"Speak up, even if your voice shakes."

Labels: politics, school