Longing

Imagine that it Easter and you have just finished up Lent. Imagine that you really denied yourself of something and it was a hard month, a prayerful month, a transformative month. And here you are, Easter - a joyful day and the holiest of the year to you.

Now imagine that no one else cared. However, you did hear people mention the Chinese New Year all day long. And you aren't Chinese.

That was yesterday for me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am happy that Rosh Hashanah was recognized so widely. I am happy to see the inclusion of Jewish holidays alongside Christian ones. That is a very positive step.

But after abstaining from food and drink for the past month from sunrise to sunset (around 6am-8pm), yesterday felt so lonely. We woke up early, went to prayer and went on about our lives. I went to class, as I had a paper due. Then, I went to work. Then, we went grocery shopping and watched "House." Anticlimactic. Why didn't we take off? Well, because you don't know when Eid will be until right before it...it was either Tuesday or Wednesday this year, and frankly, I thought it would be today. It's based on the Lunar calendar and it's a long story of tradition vs. science as to why we don't know until right before. I'll spare you. But the point is, we had to go to work and school because we had obligations and not enough time to prepare.

I am very happy, though, that we are driving to Atlanta tonight to eat dinner with my extended family. I shall wear my new mint green top with Indian beadwork around the neckline. It will feel good to have on that sparkly top. It will feel like something. I will be surrounded by people who went through what I went through, people who love me - people that are celebrating. Maybe, just maybe, tonight will be what my heart is longing for.

Labels: religion