In The Wash

Earlier this week, I was watching "The Today Show," as I always do when getting ready in the mornings. One story this week was particularly memorable to me and has been on my mind.

Get this: Husband and Wife have been married for X number of years. Wife stayed at home and now that she's divorcing Husband, she has tallied up all the meals she's cooked over the years, laundry she's washed, and even the sex that they've had. And she's put a price on it. She's suing her soon-to-be ex in excess of $300,000.00, which she calls "cheap." Why is she charging for sex? She said it wasn't that good. The husband's lawyer counters that if that's the rationale, he should be paid too. She charged meals at 20 bucks a pop.

Sounds like some fancy dining to me...yeah right...

We've also all heard that if stay-at-home moms and dads were paid for all they did, they'd make an astronomical salary. After all, they provide childcare, cook meals, clean the house, do the laundry, take care of pets, run errands, etc. etc. I don't even think you can put a price on what they do. I'm sure some stay-at-home moms and dads don't really want to stay at home, but most that I know absolutely love it. They choose it. They do it willingly...without a price tag. But what would a price tag be? Some say it would be a total of $1 million.

(Click here for an article that comes up with that figure.)

This is based on the fact that the woman or man limits her future career prospects by staying at home, as well as all the work he or she does at home.

But in all actuality, can a price ever be put on marriage or raising children? I don't think money can even begin to pay what people do in relationships. It's not about money. That's not how it's measured to me. And for that matter, don't we all feel underpaid in our jobs sometimes? Hasn't everyone said, "I don't get paid enough to do this!"? We stay late and don't get paid for it. We do things not in our job descriptions. But I think it all comes out in the wash. Think about time you've spent on a personal call or sending an email...I think it all comes out pretty evenly.

And I think the same can be said for marriage and family. Tuesday during my lunch break, I scrubbed the entire house from top to bottom. I was literally on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors 'til they sparkled. I didn't do the BS dusting, where you run the feather duster over everything. I actually took everything off shelves and wiped all the dust away. The bathroom was sparkling, the dishes were washed, the laundry was folded and put away. Immaculate.

Then, yesterday, I got home after work and was not very happy. Bert's flip flops were thrown in the living room floor, he'd left mail in the bathroom, his belt was in the bedroom floor and dirty dishes were in the sink when they should've been in the dishwasher.

I wanted to scream.

But then I remembered how he had mowed the lawn the day before and that he pretty much takes over laundry as his job. Washing, drying, folding...he does a wonderful job. All I have to do is put it up. I think part of the reason he does it is that I'm a horrible folder and hanger-upper. The clothes were horribly wrinkled every time I got my hands on them. But the other part is that he truly does want to help around the house. He definitely helps carry the load.

I know the woman that's trying to charge her husband for their marriage is running on anger right now. I can't imagine truly putting a price on marriage, though. Where would you begin? And in turn, could your significant other tally up all the meals they paid for during your dating period? There are just some things without prices. Relationships are one of them. I could never re-pay Bert or my parents for emotional support they've given me. It's priceless. And we shouldn't have to pay for that.

And as far as housecleaning goes, I don't think we can really fault men for being men; I just think they don't have the same standards of cleanliness as women do. As long as nothing's rotting, I think they think the house is fine. Women clean until someone could conduct a white glove test.

Instead of getting mad, I thought about that old saying that "everything comes out in the wash." I know this means that everything comes out evenly in the end, but for me this has a much more literal meaning. For us, everything truly does work out evenly simply because he handles the laundry.