Life Cycle

So, I lie there in the dentist chair and begin to look up at the ceiling. I don't want to actually look at the ceiling too intently either because my eyes would hurt from the light overhead. I lie back and look out the picture window, where the only thing I have a good view of is an electrical wire. The dental hygienist and I make as much chit-chat as we can before she begins sticking various silver pointy things in my mouth. Somewhere in between introductions, swapping tales of people you know (as everyone in Southern towns does) and being handed a new toothbrush, there's a lot of time for thinking.

And being the over-analyzer that I am, I intended to take every moment to do so.

I leaned back and relaxed, ready to go through the catalog of my mind. I was ready to take the thirty minutes at hand to dissect all sorts of things in my life.

And all I could think about was how cute the hygienist's daughter was and where I wanted to eat on my upcoming vacation to Savannah.

I didn't have anything to dissect.

Well, if you know me, you know that if I have my mind set on over-analyzing something, I will find a way to do so. I came back to work and began to wonder why I didn't have anything to ponder. No pretend arguments ensued in my head. No relationships were analyzed.

And then I finally came up with something: How long do people have before their luck changes?

You see, I am on an upswing right now, and as the world works, I know sadness and disappointment will come my way again. My life has been so cyclical...happiness, success, disappointment, failure and then on the merry-go-round again.

I know I should just enjoy how my life is going, but that can be hard to do when the patterns of your life have shown you something entirely different. People try to cheat all sorts of things, and I wish I could find a way to cheat all the bad things away. I don't want them to come back.

Maybe my life would seem bleak if I was hell-bent on having a bad attitude about everything. I don't know that I was born an optimist, but I've tried to make myself into one.

I guess sometimes I wonder if this is the calm before the storm. Or maybe all my hard work has finally paid off.

Maybe things are better because I'm better. Maybe as I've become a kinder and gentler person, so has life. Or maybe I should just be grateful that I have no cavities.