Thinking Out Loud

Well, I did it. I have re-joined Weight Watchers and am 2 pounds away from a "healthy weight" and 8 pounds from my personal goal. Whew. I finally feel in control again!

For those of you that have ever struggled with weight, it is a life-long journey. You have ups and downs. You have the clothes that work no matter what, and those that won't let you lie to yourself. And finally the cropped jeans I wanted to wear fit again! My work clothes are loose and I feel so much better.

I have been having stomach issues, and within 2 weeks on the program, I feel so much better. Sure, you can eat fried foods - but you won't stay full. Or, you could save up your flex points and eat something decadent. But you can't do it every day. Day in day out, you make smarter food choices. And after seeing results, you keep doing it.

I did WW last year and fell off the wagon during the summer. Vacations are what messed me up, but at my lowest, I was 2 pounds down from my current weight. And so, I'm not beating myself up, because I'm almost back there.

You might remember when I did Boot Camp - an intensive high-intensity 6-week workout program. While I realized I am a lot tougher than I thought, in all honesty, it wasn't for me. Afterwards, my knees ached. It was just too much. I think weight loss is about what works for you, and for me, WW and working out 2-3 times a week is about all I can handle with my hectic schedule. Today, my legs are sore from power walking/jogging. It's the good kind of sore, not the kind where it's hard to sit on the toilet. That kind of sore is just not worth it.

I guess I have finally realized that health is a journey, a part of life. I recently read in O Magazine about one woman's struggle to accept herself at any weight. She said she used to think if she could just cut off the fat parts, the jiggly parts, then the rest of her life would finally be perfect.

I had an AHA moment.

I am never going to be skinny, but I can be healthy. I can lose these pesky 8 pounds - or not - and have a great life. For once, I am more about health than skinniness. Sure, I want the number on the scale to say something in particular and I'd love to go down a size and get into my smallest jeans. But even if that doesn't happen, I am going to celebrate life, because I am so much more than a number on a scale.