Halloween Fiasco

I was Miss Piggy for all of 5 minutes on Halloween. Here is me while I was still really excited.

Here is me again - fake eyelashes, boa, giant purple ring, blonde wig, tiara and all:

Bert and I were invited to a party on Saturday - Halloween, right? And the invitation even said "Feel free to don your scariest costume."

Well, honestly, I didn't pay that much attention to it - this is, until, Bert's friend called and asked what we were going to be. He was going to be a gorilla, his wife the zookeeper and their daughter a banana. The hostess was to be a vampire.

So I figured, why not? I decided that Bert and I would go as swine flu. Get it? I am the swine and Bert is the...


flu. I put make-up on him to make him look pale, feverish and some darkness under his eyes. He was in pajamas and that's a thermometer in his mouth.

So off we go...

I start getting this feeling in my stomach that we're going to be the only ones dressed up. I try to shake it off since the invitation references costumes, it's on Halloween and our friends are dressing up - as well as the hostess.

We pull up. I feel fabulous. Then, I see someone walk outside in a Georgia t-shirt and jeans. I panic. We walk in. The extent of the hostess' costume is a witch hat.

I feel sick.

There is a room full of older people - none of which are in costume. Several people are outside walking up to the house - none of which are in costume.

"I can't BELIEVE you dressed up," said the hostess.

I panic. I tell Bert I want to go home and change. This is all despite the hours it took to get everything together for the costume, as well as get ready.

I get in the car. I might as well have been in elementary school because I start crying. I HATE feeling embarrassed. I rip off my fake eyelashes, put on my pajamas and get in the bed.

Bert tried to cheer me up. Bless his heart.

Our friends showed up about 20 minutes after we left, and they had dressed as a family of bugs. I wish they would've been there when we showed up. But, alas, it was too late.

The moral of the story is: BE CLEAR. If it's a costume party, say. If it's not, don't put anything about costumes on the invitation. Be totally honest that the party is indeed just for the second half of the Georgia/Florida game (which I don't want to talk about either).

And so, Halloween was a big fat fiasco.