Blonde Brunette

Karma will come back to bite you in the butt.

After making much fun of Jessica Simpson for being so stupid, I think the "dumb bug" has now come for me. I pride myself on being an intelligent woman. After all, I graduated summa cum laude from college, and I consider myself well-spoken and articulate. I use impeccable grammar 99% of the time.

Or at least I thought I did.

Here are two of my latest momentary lapses in judgment:

• "But I thought the Alamo was a boat. You, know 'Save the Alamo!' I thought it was sinking." Bert looked at me in awe. We were passing a fort in Savannah and I said I'd never seen a fort and didn't really understand what they looked like. He then told me the Alamo was a fort, to which I replied the aforementioned statement.
• "I am so glad that no one fighted on the trip when my parents were here." Yes, I said fighted. Twice. I am not sure what prompted this horrific error in grammar.

And I can't resist telling everyone Bert's "brain fart":

• Me: "Is our hospital (St. Mary's) named after Mary Mary or another saint?" Bert: "I'm not sure, but there's about to be another St. Mary." Me: "Who?" Bert: "Mother Teresa." Me: "But her name is Teresa." Us: laughing so hard we could barely speak.

I guess everyone has "blonde" or in my case, "blonde brunette," moments. I think these moments are hilarious and show our imperfections. Which make us all the more endearing.

I think I became "less smart" after spending a few months grading high school English tests. These test were administered by the State of Georgia, and the writing samples I graded helped to determine if the students passed high school or not. Some of my memories:

• "im pretikylar" - supposed to be in particular
• "George W. Bush was President during the Civil War."
• "One example of technology today is Barney."

and one that I thought really was telling at where the youth of America is today:

• "And then I heard '1,2 Step' and realized my cell phone was ringing." This was her "example of technology today." Oh well, I must admit I love hearing "Don't Phunk With My Heart" as my personal ringtone.

Now, please realize I am in no way poking fun at blondes. I sported blonde streaks for a year at one time myself. I appreciate how most of my blonde friends poke fun at themselves and blame their momentary lapses in judgment on their blonde hair.

So I'm blaming mine on that too. Even thought I don't have blonde hair.

I try to think of these moments as nothing more than my brain trying to give me a break. I'm an over-analyzer and a worrier. So when I won't do it for myself, my brain tells me it's time to lighten up.

But I'm keeping my hair dark.