Stained

Last night, I finally watched The Human Stain. I've been meaning to see it forever, but last night we finally had time to sit down and watch a movie.

I remember it created a big splash when it came out and people were giving interviews about how they, too, hid what they felt was their own human stain. For Anthony Hopkins' character, he was born to two light-skinned black parents and looked white. He eventually decided to detach himself from his family and live his life as a white person. There's lots more to this great movie, but that was what really struck a chord with me.

I found it profoundly sad that Hopkins' character felt he couldn't be himself. I was sad for his family that he turned his back on them. I was sad that society had created an environment such that a black man felt he had to lie about his race.

Do we all have our stains? I know I used to feel my religion was one. I went to great lengths to change the conversation away from religion. It was exhausting.

People often go to great lengths to conceal their pasts. We are so afraid of what others will think about us.

Have you ever thought, "Oh, if they only knew that, then they certainly would think differently of me!"

I have. And sometimes I was even right. But then I learned that I didn't need to care so much what people though of me. If they were ugly, it truly was their problem.

So, how do we rid ourselves of these stains? How do we accept who we are, flaws and all?

I think the answer is realizing that some things we might initially think are curses can turn out to be our greatest blessings. I used to worry what people would think of me when they found out I had a stepdaughter. That "stain" turned out to be one of my life's greatest joys.

It's not always comfortable; in fact, sometimes it really hurts. But the feeling of freedom is well worth it.

In the movie, Hopkins never even told his wife that he was black. Would she still have loved him if she found out? I guess not knowing is a price he was willing to pay.

But that price would have been too high for me.