TMI

Oh.my.goodness.

I am having the hardest time studying. I have two mid-terms next week and after working 8-5 everyday, the last thing I want to do is study anything to do with microeconomics or organizational theory. I don't even really understand what econ has to do with Public Administration. Oh well.

I have NO IDEA why I am sitting here watching "American Idol." I don't even really like it. It's kind of the same reason I keep eating Costa Rican chocolates at work - they're not even sweet, they're so hard to unwrap, but alas, they're just there.

And on a side note, I think all these soy products I have been eating while trying to lose weight keep making me go to the bathroom.

Labels: random, school

The Jesus Man

We went to get our grill tonight. It was my Valentine's gift to Bert, and we've just been so busy that we were finally able to get it. They assembled it at Lowe's, and I agreed to go also, even thought I had already put on my PJs. Well, we got to Lowe's and the grill wouldn't fit in the back of the CR-V.

All of a sudden, this man walked by, and said he'd take it in his truck if it was on his way. Sure enough, we lived in the same part of town. He was an older man with a kind disposition. And then he announced he was a Southern Baptist preacher and gave Bert his card.

Now, I wanted to take my grill home, but I did not want to be grilled about my religious beliefs in exchange for the kindness. All the way home, I was stressing out. First of all, I didn't even have on a bra because I did not intend on getting out of the car in front of anyone at any point of the outing. Second of all, I didn't feel like getting into a religious conversation at 8 p.m. after a long day at work followed by grad school. So, as soon as we got home, I went inside the house while the preacher man backed up our steep, narrow driveway.

I sat inside with my Chips Ahoy and waited for Bert. About 2 minutes later, he came inside.

"How did it go? Did he start trying to talk religion?" I asked, relieved I didn't have to deal.

"Not at all...I told him you don't see kindnesses like this everyday and he said 'You're welcome' and 'God bless you.'"

"What a nice Jesus man," I replied.

And so, tonight was the night that the Baptist preacher helped his Muslim neighbors. It reminded me that there are still good people out there who are kind, just because. I needed that.

Labels: random, religion

What A Week

1. Bluetooth: Those little things people wear on their ears drives me crazy. It just bothers me.
2. People that clip their nails in the office next to you and you can hear it. Ew.
3. Working in The Office.
4. The big gash on my hand that makes it hurt when I type.
5. The judge in the Anna Nicole Smith case. What a clown.


1. Random candlelight dinners.
2. My sweet kitty cat.
3. Very exciting episodes of "The Young & The Restless."
4. Getting my dad's favorite coffee from Costa Rica for him.
5. Having a press release get really wide coverage.


Thank goodness it's Friday! Wish Bert luck in his 5K tomorrow morning!

Update: Bert finished 2nd in his age group and 24th out of approximately 250 adults. His time was 21:48. Yay!

Labels: random

Mr. President

In January, Bert and I attended a portion of the Carter Conference. Brian Williams (above - below the Carter photo) was the moderator. That's me asking a question to President Carter. Yep, he was really there and I was even on C-SPAN! I asked him about how the United States' support of Israel affects the United States' relations with Middle Eastern countries. He was very eloquent and knowledgeable on the subject. It was an amazing experience to have the attention of a President for a few minutes.

The whole event was very memorable, and made me wish so much that more people were like him. Carter started out in politics because the superintendent of the school system where he lived said he wouldn't allow blacks in public schools. Carter knew that was wrong, ran for superintendent and won. I think that is a great illustration of his entire career. This man has always been in it for the right reasons. It's clear he's one of a kind.

Labels: events, politics, random

Dear Valentine

"There are words to say
And there are songs to sing
But I can hardly speak at all...
Dear Valentine"

"Dear Valentine" - Guster

Labels: family, holiday, love

Trust

What a terrible night.

I had one of my graduate school classes tonight and successfully held in tears for almost three hours. For someone hyper-sensitive like me, this was no small feat.

I am always hesitant to speak in class because I have a big fear of being embarrassed or looking stupid. I just try to do a great job on presentations, papers, etc. and hope that outweighs me not contributing too much to class discussion. So far, so good.

Well, tonight I took a chance. Answered a question. The professor said, "What do the following things have in common: the fact that more people get their news from the internet than from a newspaper, the fact that more women are unmarried than married in the U.S. and the fact that more government entities are contracting out work?"

I actually thought I had the answer. And as I raised my hand, he said, "Of course, absolutely nothing."

Crap. It was too late. I was stuck. And so, I had to answer.

"Well, I believe that the issue that is the same with all three is the fact that people are less trusting," I began. "People want their news from a variety of sources now, more people get divorced than not so people are hesitant to get married and people don't trust the government."

I thought that was pretty good. And damnit, I still stand by my answer.

Some students gave me nods in agreement, and I thought I did well. I was wrong.

"My wife has a name when I give answers like that," Professor B. said.

"B.S.?" said a jerk in my class.

I wanted to cry and slap him and everyone else that laughed.

"She calls it a 'B---geist' (a play on his name) when I say something completely illogical."

"Yeah, being married will do that to you," I tried to joke.

"Oh, you're married! It all makes sense now!" he replied.

I tried so hard to act like everything was fine. It took everything I had not to cry. I still feel like a 6-year old instead of a 26-year old sometimes. And to remind myself I am a grown-up, I doodled my age and traced over and over the number "26." I tried so hard to put my hurt into my black pen and college-ruled paper.

And so I heard hardly another word for the rest of class. I had to spend basically the entire time trying not to cry. I sat there for hours trying to make myself feel awesome. I thought about how most of the class probably goes home to empty apartments and no love life and I go home to my hot husband (who could beat all their asses). I told myself I had the best job in the class. I told myself I was the most attractive person in the class, and, of course, the best dressed.

And it helped me keep the tears inside. I had to build myself up really big because I could feel my face getting hot. I stared at my rings like they were the answers to world peace.

At the end of class, Professor B. opened up the floor to share ideas on the case we were discussing. I spent a while preparing and was so excited earlier to share my ideas because I had worked really hard on it. I didn't know if I speak again. And then I had my answer.

The stupid jerk that made fun of me earlier took another crack at me, saying something about how people should be more trusting. People laughed. The same unattractive, poor, lonely people that go home to empty apartments and Ramen Noodles every night. Or that's what I am telling myself.

And so, I decided all my hard work preparing for class would go to waste. I wouldn't be able to speak. Not tonight, maybe never again in that class.

I sat there, stone-faced. I had had it. And that jerk is in my assigned group for class. Therefore, I have to work with him again.

I am still debating whether to be ugly or nice.

Or perhaps if he tries to say something, I'll just remark that I don't trust him.

Labels: school

But I Still Love Lucky Charms

Last night, I dreamed that leprechauns were trying to bite my legs.

I guess the "bite" part comes from Matty sometimes hiding under the bed and jumping at my legs when I walk by. He doesn't bite, and in my dream, my legs were really hurting. I mean, I could really feel the bites.

And a couple of weeks ago, I saw this horrible movie, "The Descent" and there were these weird human-like creatures in there. But they weren't leprechauns.

I wonder if those things have anything to do with my weirdo dream.

And even though I have Irish ancestry, I don't think I'll be celebrating St. Patrick's Day with anything that involves weird little green biting men.

Labels: random