Speak Up, Even If Your Voice Shakes

I was so ashamed of myself.

Last night in class, a group presented an ethical analysis of the Lt. Ehren Watada case. The quick summary of the case is that Lt. Watada signed up for the war in Iraq, and after further study, he came to believe it was wrong and illegal. He tried to resign from the Army twice, but was denied. The Army offered him the status of "Conscientuous Objector," but he did not believe that title was fitting, as he didn't object to fighting in general - just in Iraq. He even offered to fight in Afghanistan, but was denied. Watada will be up for trial in June.

Anyway, the group presenting the case all agreed that Watada was wrong, and they voted to put him in prison. The vote was 4-2, with the other 2 voting for dishonorable discharge.

I was in shock. I guess you think that if something is obvious to you that it will be obvious to everyone else. When I read the case before class, I thought Watada was a very brave individual. In my opinion, he was standing up for what is right. It has come out more and more that we have no business in Iraq. Our administration painted a picture that Saddam Hussein was somehow linked to 9/11, which is clearly not true.

Anyway, I kept thinking I would say something, but this is the class where I have been made fun of before. And then, someone in the group busted out the "military family" card, so I really didn't feel like saying anything. It was 9:00 p.m. and I was tired and didn't feel like being berated for my opinion.

But that is where I failed.

Yes, this post is about Lt. Watada, but for me this whole situation became more about my own personal ethics. When I left class, I was really down on myself. I went home and cried to Bert. Literally, cried. He told me that he knows I would always stand up for what I believed in "real life."

"But Lt. Watada stood up to the government; I couldn't even stand up to my class," I sobbed.

The case was prepared by a Ph.D. student in the class, so I decided to write her an email. I told her that I wasn't sure if this was part of her ongoing doctoral research, but that I wanted to share my opinion on the ethics of the case so she could have a more complete assessment of the class reaction.

I included this quote from Lt. Watada in my email:
"It is my duty as a commissioned officer in the United States Army to speak out against grave injustices. My moral and legal obligation is to the constitution. Not to those who issue unlawful orders. I stand before you today because it is my job to serve and protect American soldiers and innocent Iraqis who have no voice. It is my conclusion that the war in Iraq is not only morally wrong, but also a breach of American law."

And she said my email was lovely.

No matter what your opinions are on the war or anything else, I believe it's important to stand up for whatever it is you believe. Yes, I was being hard on myself. Yes, maybe it was "just a class," and yes, I had been ridiculed before. But how can one be brave if there is no fear? That's what bravery is...courage in the face of adversity.

I saw a quote yesterday that I will hold close to me always. Yesterday, I realized how important this is to me. This quote will forever be a part of who I am, and I will remind myself of it next time I am afraid.

"Speak up, even if your voice shakes."

Labels: politics, school

Let's Be Honest...I'm A Little Bit Psycho

Friday night, Bert and I went to dinner and out downtown with another very fun couple. After eating dinner at a très chic tapas place, we headed a few blocks down to continue hanging out. We decided to play this game called "Cornhole" that is pretty popular here. Basically, you throw beanbags and try to get it to go in this hole (see picture above-no, that is not us). I was standing on one end with my friend, and Bert was on the other side with her husband.

So, we're all having a grand old time, and I am just chatting with my friend while we halfway play this game. We had a great evening, or so I thought.

When Bert and I were on our way home, he said, "Can you believe that girl?"
I said, "What are you talking about?"

He then proceeded to tell me about this girl slut that had approached him and asked if HE WAS ATTACHED!!!

"I thought you saw this all happen...I told her I was married to you and pointed at you and everything," Bert said.
"OK...let me just put this out there," I began. "Let's be honest. I'm a little bit psycho, and you KNOW you would have known had I seen that! Do you really think I would not have approached her?!"

I mean, SERIOUSLY, Bert had on his ring and everything. What is wrong with so many women today, and why are they so overly aggressive?

So, then, of course, I spewed a bunch of profanity that I would have said to this person, and we agreed it was for the best that I didn't see it after all. Because let's be honest--what women out there isn't just a teensy bit psycho?

Labels: random

Visual DNA

HA! It said I am an easy-going person. Yeah, riiiiiiiiiight...

Labels: random

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Labels: work

The One Where I Whine

I am so tired.

Saturday was my work's annual awards banquet. As the PR person, I was responsible for every last detail of this year's Mardi Gras-themed festivities. This was what I did for 13 hours on Saturday.

Sunday, I cleaned my house. I am not entirely sure why it took the entire day, but it did. Of course, I also snuck in some time watching "Uptown Girls" while cleaning.

And then today, I took off from work, but I have class this afternoon. And right now I need to be studying for a quiz.

And oh yeah, I woke up with a cold this morning. And I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. This is making me feel very whiny.

May 9, please hurry up! And Day Quil, please kick in!

Mardi Gras pics to follow this week...I shall refrain from posting the penis and vagina homemade headbands some people at the banquet chose to wear. Yes, you read that right.

Labels: random

Senseless

Last night, I was watching the Virginia Tech stuff on CNN. The killer's roommates were on, and this guy was a total weirdo. He had an imaginary supermodel girlfriend named Jelly. What? Clearly, he was a disturbed human being.

I mean, this is a totally senseless crime. Makes zero sense. So sad. My mom collaborates with colleagues at VT, and I'm sure many of you have associations there as well.

I mean, are we safe anywhere anymore? Shootings at college campuses, bomb threats at local schools, molesting in churches, 9/11, etc. etc. Violence is in our faces. It makes me sad when I think about the state of our world sometimes.

Easily Entertained

Did y'all see "The Bachelor" last night? Kate said the funniest thing I have ever heard in Bachelor history. It went something like this:

"He (the Bachelor, Andy) said he wanted to see the serious side of me. What did he want me to do? Save an orphan from a fire?!"

Love it.

My other fave is the new Kellogg's commercial. This odd-looking man is sitting at a table with two other people and he comments how he sees the word "ello" in Kellogg's. He then says in a British accents, "Ello, govna." Bert and I say this constantly now.

What's keeping you entertained?

Labels: random

And, Finally...

All right, here's my go at 31-43 for Anisa's Life Goals:

31. Have an expensive purse. I saw this on Heather's list, and I totally get that. I shall wait on this one for a while, but I would like to have a for real designer purse one day.
32. Make the pilgrimage to Hajj. This will be a life-changing experience. To walk in the footsteps of prophets will be a marvelous experience indeed.
33. Learn how to spell occasion. This is like the one word in the English language I cannot seem to ever spell correctly.
34. Get some rest. Working full time, being in grad school, etc. etc. has made me exhausted. I have almost forgotten how to relax - almost. I have got to remember to take better care of myself and not get so run down.
35. Eat a corndog. No, I have never done this and I saw some vegetarian ones in the store. One of these days I am going to try a corndog.
36. Stop freaking out about my last name. I miss my maiden name...it was so simple with my unique first name. Now, people just stay confused with my new last name. I need to get over it. I put my maiden name as my middle name anyway.
37. Take more pictures. Sometimes, I don't take pictures and I have no idea why. It's like I don't want to inconvenience anyone at all, but sometimes a picture needs to be taken!
38. Be a kid more. I went to Chuck E Cheese this weekend with Bert and Ariana and had a BLAST! Ariana and I both have June birthdays, so we will do this again then. I need to do more kid stuff...it feels good.
39. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Boy, do I want to change the unchangeable all the time. That is a lot of wasted energy. I need to realize everything in life happens for a reason and accept that.
40-43. These I am saving. New life goals will arise and I will do my best and be grateful for all the love and support I have in my life.

Stolen Oscar

If you have not seen the movie "Blood Diamond," you should run to the nearest Blockbuster. This is the most incredible movie I have seen in years.

It really puts everything into perspective. This movie really opened my eyes and made me realize how lucky I am that every day of my life is not spent hoping I don't get shot by rebel forces. It is so sad to think what goes in not only in Africa, but all over...Iraq, Palestine, etc. It is a scary world out there and we in America are spoiled rotten.

See this movie. It should've swept the Oscars. It did much more than entertain me - the 2.5 hours went by in a flash - it changed me.

Labels: movies

16-30

So, here's the next installment of my hopeful accomplishments. There's no specific timeline, but maybe if I get these down, it'll give me a little nudge. 30-43 coming soon...

16. Have more girl time. As a married woman, it's so easy to let friendships go by the wayside. Bert and I are both trying to add a little more "friend time" to the equation. It makes for a much healthier relationship.
17. Make a piece of pottery. Mama and I have plans for this next time I'm in Mississippi.
18. Sing karaoke. Nope, never done this. It's a must-do.
19. Obsess about stuff less. I am such a worrier.
20. Score an 80 when bowling. Geez, I'm terrible at bowling, but I still love it. Must get better.
21. Let go and let God. Easier said than done, but always the best policy. The catch is doing your part, but realizing that God will do His if it's to be.
22. Be on time more. I am SO SO SO terrible at being on time. I don't know what I'd do if I worked somewhere that was rigid about what time I get to work. They don't care as long as you put in your hours - works for me! But still, in general, I have got to get better.
22. Forgive. I sure love to hold onto grudges and hold on to the past. I need to let bygones be bygones.
23. Be happy with my weight. And if I'm not happy, do something to get happy about it. Like lose these 10 freaking pounds I keep meaning to get off.
24. Spend more time outside. I'm not an outdoorsy kind of girl, but it is so beautiful this time of year. I should breathe in more fresh air.
25. Drink more water. I probably have about 4 glasses a day, and I need to double it.
26. Change doctors. Mine is not being very helpful, and it's up to me to be in charge of my health. I had an ultrasound of my gallbladder Friday because I've had a lot of tummy aches laterly, and he STILL hasn't gotten back to me. The radiologist technician said he would have the results Monday. This is the final straw.
27. Be the internet less at home. I have all day to sit in front of a computer; I don't need much time on the internet at home. I should spend more time talking and living life, rather than staring at the computer. My work emails can wait until the next day.
28. Keep standing up for me. When I became proud of who I was and stopped being so self-conscious, everyone else did too. It's up to me. And I don't have to keep my mouth quiet when I think something is wrong. I had someone say to my face after Katrina that they essentially thought those people deserved it because of their sinful ways. Today, I would speak up against that kind of thinking.
29. Be more spontaneous. I am a gigantic planner. I need to leave room for spur-of-the-moment things.
30. Buy a houseplant. There's nothing that can duplicate a real, live plant. It just adds more life to a place. But then, my cat may try and eat it like he does when he can get to fresh flowers...

Labels: random

The 43, Except It's 15

My friend, Laura, was the inspiration for this list. Thanks, LT!

So, here it is...my 43 things I want to accomplish, in no particular order...except I couldn't come up with 43 today, so here's 15...

:)

1. Write a book. I'm thinking fiction...one of these days I will get to this...
2. Have kids. And they will hopefully be very cute (and healthy) with dark eyes and hair. Yes, I have names picked out for when this occurs in many years to come, and no, I will not tell you those names.
3. Feel comfortable in a 2-piece bathing suit. Even I busted out laughing at that one. Perhaps this is just not meant to be.
4. Shut up gossiping. Again, I laughed a little bit. But, seriously, why do women do this?
5. See Paris, London, Madrid and more. I would love, love, love to travel more.
6. Get a tattoo. Just a tiny, hidden one. I already know what I would want and I know it being tiny and hidden may defeat the purpose, but who cares? On that old show "Bosom Buddies" with Tom Hanks, they tried to get tattoos, but it hurt too much. They just had a tattoo dot and told their girlfriends they were "love dots." Maybe I should just get a love dot.
7. Never put blonde streaks in my hair again. Self explanatory.
8. Get my Master's in Public Administration. Working on it...hopefully in Fall '08!
9. Buy a house. To follow aforementioned Master's degree.
10. Go dancing and be silly with Bert. We keep saying it would be fun to go out just once and dance and act like college kids, but we have yet to do this.
11. Treat those I love as well as strangers. Why do we take for granted those the closest to us? We should treat them just as kindly as we would a stranger or acquaintance.
12. Dip my toe in the Pacific Ocean. I have yet to visit Cali. I am afraid of the ocean, but I'll take a toe dip.
13. See "Casablanca." I know there are old classics there I haven't seen and really should.
14. See Billy Joel in concert. Love me some Billy.
15. Give thanks. I have so much and am so lucky. I should say thank you more often for all the blessings in my life.

Labels: random

Chocolate, Oatmeal Cream Pie and Cake...Oh My!

So, every day I decide I am going to eat better. I woke up feeling fat, and so I weighed myself. I figured the number on the scale would shock me into diet world today. Well, the number wasn't so bad...which is good, but which also takes away some motivation. And I have on these pants today that are a good size, so that is taking away my motivation as well.

I have been so snacky lately. I mean, I buy all these "100-calorie" snack things, but it defeats the purpose when I eat 3 or 4 of these "packs" a day. And at 9:30 a.m., I already ate my post-lunch snack. And this lady brought cake to work, so I HAD to have a piece. Shame on me.

Oh well, I will do better for the rest of the day and I have vowed to force myself to go to the dreaded gym tonight. Ooh I hate going to the gym. Yuck.

Ah, to be a woman...